Dear Mother,

i know you're doing this "for the best"
but i've lived part of my life. why not the rest?
i'm sick of you telling me i will just fail if i try
and then you mock me, and yell at me when i cry


you've lived your life, now let me live mine
its now, my turn, so let me shine.
the words i said to you, you thought i was joking
couldn't you see i was crying so hard that i was choking?


i know you're my guardian and you care alot
but its turned into a battle you have long ago forgot
you use me, you hurt me, you tell me i can't choose.
but all over my body, you've left more than just one bruise


you've forever left me curled up in a ball
i'm sick of you constantly letting me fall
you tell me whats wrong, and never whats right
this life has become a dangerous fight.


i told you i'm leaving, you thought i was just upset
but soon enough, you will forget.
when i'm long gone you'll come to see
that the only person that was stopping me, was not me.


i've put up with you all my life
who knew it would give me so much strife
i didn't think you would turn around and hurt me
now all i really want is to finally be free......

a series of my poems (:

the dream

i find myself dreaming,
of people i've never met
ive found myself wishing
i am filled with regret

i wish i would have lended a hand
when you needed one the most
i wish i could more fully understand
why the rich people greedily boast


you've been in my dreams when i sleep
your face is one i cannot shake
ive found that i just can't help but weep
everymorning when i wake....


i''m wishing i could have shown compassion
and that i hadn't walked away...
the way i left was wildly out of fashion....
why didn't i just stay...?



The revolution of the heartbroken

why can't he see?
why can't he tell?
i am me, he is he
he's caught me in his spell...


he says she hurt him
she made him cry
she made him wish he'd never been
she told him every single lie


he says he doesn't want it anymore
he hides his pain to the world
but when he's alone, the tears, they pour
he keeps his banner from becoming unfurled


i wish i could take his hand,
so he wouldn't walk alone
i wish i could make him understand
to show him what i was shown


to make him see that he's not the only one
to show the world around him changes
the revolution has begun
the world has become strange


the heartbreakers, and liars alike
this, shall be their last stand.
like the vampires and their wooden spike
their death, and pain will be grand


the day we all will shout to the sky
the day we all will at last be free
the day the traitors and theves will cry
the day the sad people, happy at last will be


and so, for now we wait in silence
anticipating praying for results
while we watch the raging tyrants
as the revolution takes its toll.





the freedom not found

can we please just stop the lies?
her shaking little frame softly cries.
she grabs the blade she shuts the door
after all she's just a girl, and nothing more...


she thinks the pain will abrubtly stop
but deep inside she knows its not...
she wishes, waits, hoping, still...
as her crimzon blood begins to spill....


she cries his name, he isn't there...
her blood is pooling everywhere.
she prays long and hard for it to stop
so she can still dance, sing and shop...


she regrets what she's done as the world goes black.....
the eternal sin she can never take back....
her eyes go dark, her skin pale white
thats the way she ended her life that night......






~*Freedom*~

the shell is breaking
she begins to shake
the texture is waining
she wants it to break


does he see?
can he tell?
she wants to be free
he's puttin her through hell..



all she wants is freedom
her own right to choose
there are worse things yet to come
and..once again she will loose.



she'll dream of standing for herself
she'll stand up strong and brave
she'll say she wants to choose for herself
she'll see his eyes... and cave....




Temptations

the tempter wraps us in his snare,
a soul who honestly does not care
he wants us to be just like him
us,to be unhappy is his whim


he takes us down one step at a time
he changes our life to a life of crime
he makes your soul begin to bubble
he makes you always feel that you're in trouble


a friend he truly PRETENDS to be
he's NOT a friend, at least to me.
his lies they make you feel numb and frozen
our generation was marked, we are chosen.


his liips curl his lies pour out
he has 2 horns, and a long red snout
his claws are sharp, his heart is poison
his soul is cold, in fact, its frozen


his eyes are filled with jealousy and hate
he didn't get a body when god decided to create
he feels no shame he has no limit
he haunts our souls... his lie.... we live it...



Abyss

she stares into a black abyss
she's not that girl, her life she missed
she doesn't now know left from right
each day's a struggle, a battle, a fight


she wished that she could be free
and now she's a stranger to you and me
her soul still wishing, wanting more
everybody laughs, they call her a whore


her faith was shattered, her hope was lost
her smiling personality shadowed with frost.
her eyes are the only thing of her thats left
they show the pain and the wish for death.


he said she loved her he acted kind
she gave her heart, he changed his mind.
her virtues he took along with her love
she cries and begs forgiveness from god above.


oh lonely, sad afraid little girl,
you didn't think your life would whirl,
so violently so angery still,
you ended your sad little life with a couple of pills....




Join the Parade (in the eyes of a deaf person)


I do not hear the bird’s beautiful song
They say that I am a cripple
And often people understand me wrong.
One person starts it, it’s like a ripple

I am not stupid, I do feel pain
I can’t hear the sound around me
I can’t hear, but I FEEL the rain.
I can still feel and see.


You don’t understand or you wouldn’t
I may be different from you and her,
Treat me differently, at least you shouldn’t.
But millions of people can concur.

You say we don’t understand your voice,
But you don’t understand MINE.
It only takes one little choice.
Together with our hands intertwined.


Help me to prove to the world,
Help me to show them how to see
With our banner wildly unfurled,
Teach them the language used by me


Then perhaps they wouldn’t judge,
They’re selfish hearts would be turned
Then perhaps they’d learn to budge
The words they spoke about me burned.


So come and join the parade,
Join with us now.
Be not afraid,
Come ask me how.




In Cinderella's Shoes

my life has taken a dramatic turn
the kind that makes my insides churn
i feel as though i'm hanging from a thread
every morning my heart fills with dread

the morning wakes me with open arms
then turns and laughs as i get harmed.
its like i'm playing the part of cinderella
without the bonus of the fella.

my friends have other concerns and cares
feels like the whole world is unaware
they see the outside not the in
my inner strength is wearing thin


i feel as fragile as the glass shoe upon her feet
do you know what its like to always feel defeat?
i'm falling in to the most dreadfull pain
the only weather i can stand is the dark wet rain.

welcome to the beggining of my show,
it doesn't matter if its real or just a role
because nobody cared in the first place
it feels like i'm alone, no oxygen in space.

this girl is tired of feeling regret
tired of people saying not to fret.
she's fed up with being told what to do
she's tired even of people saying 'just be you'

people pretend it's all okay
that its all the same at the end of the day
but the night comes and thats when the pain starts
its like a chain reaction from a tiny little spark.

and though you laugh and say she's just a show
she'd like to see you have a go
at the life she's living and the pain she feels
now you'll see why thats the way she deals.



Reply (from one friend to another)

i know that you'd like to take the blame.
but it isn't you who should be given all the fame
for we BOTH took the fall
all i had to do was call

but instead we fell into a rut
my only friend, was to cut
my faullt it is of course, not yours
but really? who's keeping track of the scores?

i'm glad that you care.
thank you for being there
i'll try my best to turn to you
but, trying is the best that i can do

i no longer have trust for really anyone.
geez, parents really DO get rid of all the fun
its not your fault that i cannot depend
its my mothers, for making me break and bend.

but thanks a whole, awful lot.
lets talk more(: