Happily ever after?

Sometimes we meet people, and everything leading up to meeting them seems as if it's fate, that we are meant to be together, and you know what, Sometimes we are. But, sometimes fate isn't enough to make a relationship work. 

Let me tell you a love story.

It begins with a hallway. A girl meets a boy, she forgets to ask him his name, she thinks she'll never see him again. Then, fate brings them together via the Internet. They meet up, and realize that they had met before, they then decide that they have fate on their side, they must have been meant to be.

Fast forward a year, they get married. They are 20 years old and think nothing can tear them apart. They begin a life together. And things seem to be great for a while. But then, almost a year later they begin to make each other miserable. They try everything they can think of to fix things, but they just can't. And as quickly as it began, their relationship comes to an end. 

It's hard to re-wire your brain into realizing that life isn't over just because your marriage is. In fact; it's not just you making it hard on yourself, other people make it really hard. 

If I've learned anything from this nightmare, it's this. Sometimes things don't go the way you want them to, and that's OKAY. You may feel like you've run out of breath from time to time, but you're still breathing. You may feel like you are completely hopeless, but you aren't. And you may feel like nobody will ever love you again, but that's NOT TRUE. 

You control your fate, fate does not control you. If you want to be happy, then be happy. If you feel like you aren't the person you want to be, become that person. Don't let a case of "fate gone wrong" keep you from living your life. 

Sometimes happily ever after, doesn't require a prince riding in on his white horse and sweeping you off your feet. Sometimes happily ever after comes from you, doing what you need to do to make yourself happy.

Things NOT to say to someone who's going through a divorce.

Going through a divorce is hard. There's no doubt about that. But one thing I've noticed, is the hardest part is dealing with people around you. Because (A) everyone thinks it's their business. (B) people think they NEED to say something even if they don't. (C) people are judgy as hell. So, here's a guide for everyone who HASN'T gone through a divorce on what you definitely should not say to someone who is going through a divorce. 

"I'm sure you're not feeling up to it, but....."

I'm sorry? Since when do you get to decide what I'm not feeling up to? 

"Unless you'd feel uncomfortable because you are alone..."

Thanks for the painful reminder.

"Are you okay?", "I don't believe you."

Okay, look, while its nice that you're concerned, literally EVERYONE is asking if I'm okay like constantly and has been since the decision to divorce was made public knowledge.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out, I always hoped it would with you two."

No, really?! So did I, but obviously it didn't because here we are. You've pretty much just told this person "that's stupid why couldn't you make it work, I liked them"

"Who's getting (insert object or pet or children) in the divorce?" If you've never dealt with sorting through your belongings with someone who you once thought you'd never be without again then you probably don't know this but that conversation is PAINFUL. In my particular situation I lost my cat. Who was basically my child. Chances are that's a really touchy subject and is also totally none of your business. 

"I don't want to say something stupid and offend you, so I won't tell you what I think." 

You totally just did. Consider me offended.

"I know someone who would really like to meet you, you'd be good together."

I shouldn't even have to explain why this is a stupid thing to say.

"Weren't you only married for (insert marriage length here)?"

.....sigh.

"What happened?" 

Ok seriously? You really think I want to re-live that with you?

No. Just no.

So basically here's the deal, don't say anything unless the person who is getting divorced asks for your opinion. 

Or, just stick with a simple "if you need anything let me know, I'm here for you." 

In the words of thumper "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."