Life through the eyes of a 22 year old misfit: July 2014

Working with people who have special needs has been such a life changing experience. Growing up I thought the only people who fell under the category of "Special needs" were people who had downs syndrome. I mean, let's be honest, that was the only type of disability I had ever been around. So, when I was offered a job at Chrysalis, I had some very unrealistic expectations about spending my days working with people who would be really easy to work with, and it would be the easiest money I ever earned. Now that I've worked here for a while, the thought that I was ever interested in this job, for money, literally makes me sick to my stomach... How could I have ever been so selfish? The world needs more heroes. Not the type that flies through the night in a cape and a dark mask fighting crime and saving damsels who are in distress, but the everyday type that takes a moment to do something to help someone, even something as simple as having a conversation or being a friend. I had an experience with an individual who had a very difficult family life growing up, her parents were abusive both verbally and physically. They would call her names and tear her down, often times they wouldn’t even take the time \to provide the one thing we all as human beings need, love. She had been having a tough day and went to sit alone in her room. I finished what I was doing and went to her room, we ended up talking for a couple of hours about her life and how she felt about things both current and about things that she had previously overcome. When my shift was over and it was time for me to go she gave me a hug and said “Shay, you’re my hero. Thank you.” The next day was mother’s day. As I am not a mother the only significance this day has for me is that it’s a day to send my mom a card and give her a call. I was not however expecting a card when I got to work that day. When this individual handed me a card, I was confused. “I’m not a mother..” I stated. She smiled at me and simply replied “No, but you’re the closest thing to a mother I have.” Tears welled in my eyes. It was at that moment that I realized just how important my job was to both the individuals and to me. Autism is a noun defined as: a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by difficulty in communicating, and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts. A lot of times it is easy to define a person by their disability, but really, autism is just that, a definition. The disability does not make the person, just because a person cannot communicate the way that most people do, doesn’t mean that they are any less important. You don’t consider someone who speaks Spanish, French or German, to be less of a human being than you, so why would you consider someone who has autism to be any less of a human being than you are? Although in some cases autism can be very hard to deal with, the unconditional love that is received when you begin to look past the disability and build strong relationships with the individuals… is a love that is incomparable to almost anything I have ever experienced. I remember the day that one of the relationships with an individual that I work with, became one of trust, friendship and love. Though this individual cannot fully express the way she feels towards me, she communicates in her own way. I remember sitting on the couch, as we were watching TV, and I looked at her and smiled, in return she smiled at me, grabbed my hand and held it tightly, she then scooted closer to me on the couch and leaned her head on my shoulder, pointing to my leg and saying “Thank you” in her sweet high pitched voice that has just become her trademark. The smile on my face stayed there all day. Since that experience my relationships with my clients have become such an essential part of my life. When one of them is sick, or hurting, or sad, it has a HUGE impact on how I feel. I worry about them as if they are my own children. The symbol for autism awareness is a puzzle piece, and true to the symbol, these wonderful, sweet spirits, are the puzzle pieces of my life.