I announced my divorce which had secretly been a thing for a while, I moved home, I got a great job and had to quit it because my PTSD got in the way, I have been in and out of the doctors office countless times and even the emergency room once, due to some new medical issues that I won't get into right now,
But the biggest thing, the big elephant in the room anytime I go anywhere and see anyone I know has been the fact that I am in a new relationship. I know what you're thinking "already?" Or even perhaps you have the same thought that half of the people who used to be my friends have had "she must have been having an affair."
No. I didn't. The simple fact is this, while my marriage didn't last long; it was a loveless marriage. I guess maybe loveless isn't the right word. You see, my ex was my best friend. But we were always better friends than we ever were Husband and wife. We never agreed on ANYTHING. I wanted kids, he wanted cars. I wanted us both to find a way to go back to school and be successful, he wanted us both to work whatever jobs we could find with high school diplomas for the rest of our lives. I wanted a big city closer to my family, he wanted small town 2 hours away from anyone I knew.
We'd argue; I'd give him my thoughts, he would do what he wanted anyway even if it meant spending money on something we definitely didn't need, and sacrificing groceries for a month or two. The list goes on and on. Now, I'm not saying he's the only one at fault. Trust me, I screwed up, A LOT. I had unrealistic expectations of him; and if he didn't fill those expectations, I'd let myself be miserable. Which is unhealthy, and stupid.
But anyway, I've gotten off topic,
Back to my new relationship.
Hunter and I met 5 years ago through mutual friends, the moment I saw him I felt a strong connection to him. We dated for a few months, and I got scared. Because, I don't do the whole commitment thing well, yeah I've been in a lot of relationships, because I like the thought of being into the whole commitment thing, but, they never lasted longer than a couple months. Which is why when I decided to get married after a year of dating my family was beyond shocked. Me getting scared resulted in me breaking up with someone I still had extremely strong feelings for. We lost contact, and every once in a while over the years we would run into each other or, I'd send him a message to see how things were going for him.
We both got married and didn't talk to each other for a good long while.
Fast forward a little bit, we both split up with our partners, and ended up spending time together, at first it was just as friends, then it turned into something more. So, we decided to take a chance on something, even though it sounded crazy, and scared the hell out of both of us.
We have received a lot of Feedback. Mostly good, but some, not so good.
At first it really really bothered me, I almost let people talk me out of happiness. But then I realized something, I am happier now than I have been probably ever. So why would I let people who clearly don't care about my happiness as much as they care about what my happiness looks like to the general public, ruin something so amazing, that I go to bed smiling every night, and wake up smiling every morning?
He makes me feel like I actually have worth, he makes me feel pretty at my worst, and breathtaking at my best.
He makes me feel like I can be myself and it's totally rad.
He takes me on dates to remind me that I'm worth his time, and effort.
He knows me better than even some of my closest friends and family.
For hells sake he bought me 70 Vinyl records and a record player for Christmas because he wanted my Christmas to be special.
He hates people with me; and is perfectly fine with us bailing out on social events to watch Netflix and eat pizza.
We laugh, we cry, we argue all the time, and I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING.
I'm in love with my best friend, he makes me happy, and frankly it's none of your business. So, you can either be supportive, or you can get over it. Because I won't hesitate to show you the exit if you can't.
