Carson's V day present

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes.

Life has a funny way of becoming crazy all at once after months, even sometimes years of nothing really happening. A year ago from now I was living in a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment with 3 other roommates, I had a boyfriend but we always fought and really couldn't stand each other. I wasn't in school, didn't have a job and my mother was paying for my rent, when I was hungry, I'd drive to her house, or my roommates would take pitty on me and feed me. My life felt really dull. I was in a relationship where I felt completely alone. And the only thing that I really had going for me was an amazing group of friends from high school that has stuck with me throughout all of my struggles and triumphs. Since that time, I was in a relationship where I was cheated on, manipulated, used, lied to and ultimately caused me to become depressed and alienate everyone who has ever cared about me, I moved to St. George to get away from said relationship, and his crazy ex girlfriend who got me evicted from my comfortable spot in BYU housing by framing me for something I didn't do, she then moved in to my exact apartment in my exact room just too be more like me. She stalked me, would send me threatening texts, call me at all hours of the night and I swear I had even seen her outside my window a couple of times. When I moved to St. George I was leaving more than just the craziness behind. I was leaving my family, my hometown, and my friends. I knew NOBODY in St. George aside from a cousin I never really talked to or knew. I moved on a whim. The original plan had been that I wanted to go teach english in Thailand for 6 Months, but that plan was shelfed by the simple fact that I let a boy convince me not to go. When that relationship had ended, it was too late to take back my resignation from the program. So, I decided to move here. The first few weeks were miserable. My only roomate for a while was 26, she had been divorced twice, and she was a fitness junkie, so we had literally nothing in common. I liked junk food, netflix and being lazy. She liked powerbars, working out, and going on dates. I felt completely alone. I called my mom and my friends crying like every night. I was desperate for friends, so much so that when my 20 year old roommate moved in, I was determined to be friends with her no matter what I had to do. This is where my downfall occurred. This roommate, we will call her Beth, was a fitness junkie as well, but she LOVED to party. And by party I mean she did drugs, drank, smoked, anything and everything. She LIVED the whole "Yolo" life. and in a desperate attempt to fit in, I went along with her, getting myself into things I had sworn I would never involve myself in. One night I found myself laying on my bedroom floor, I had blacked out and was holding a bottle of unknown pills, the bottle was almost empty and the label had been removed. I would have asked Beth what had happend but she hadn't been at that particular party and was nowhere to be found. I remember laying there feeling like I was going to die, I hadn't even thought about praying for a long time. But at that moment in time, it was the only thing I could think of to do.. So I did. I begged for help, for someone to convince me to stop, because I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to stop myself. I fell asleep praying and woke up feeling mostly better aside from a crazy headache and a lot of throwing up. I went to school, and later that night decided to go over to a friend's house. I went and picked up a burger, some fries and a shake on my way over. I put little to no effort into getting ready, and probably looked like a hobo. So when she called and said she was running late and just to wait by her door for her, I'm sure I frightend a few college students into thinking there was a homeless woman in the hallway. I had been waiting for about fifteen minutes and my food was getting cold, so I decided to start eating. I had a huge mouthfull of food when I heard a voice "Are you locked out?" It startled me a bit as I hadn't seen anyone walk up the stairs. I looked up, and responded with a mouthful of food "No, I'm waiting for a friend.." The boy standing in front of me was extremely attractive and well-dressed. I was embarrassed to say the least. He smiled and said "hopefully she shows up soon." He and his friend walked away. I sat there and smiled as I finished my food. A few moments later he was back. This time without his friend. We talked for a few minutes and got onto the topic of one of the girls who lived in my friend's apartment. He said something about how crazy she was and as he said this she walked up the stairs, so he hurried away. She let me in to wait for my friend. And as I sat there, I kept beating myself up mentally for not asking his name or which apartment he was in. When my friend got home I tried discribing him to her to see if she knew him, but my discription wasn't good enough so I went home that night feeling disappointed. It had been a few weeks and I hadn't seen him again, so I gave up. I decided to join the online dating scene, mostly to meet people to be friends with. One day I got a message from someone named Carson. We talked for a while and made the connection that we lived in the same complex. After a lot of pushing and prodding from my friend Jared, and Beth. I went down to the hot tub to meet him, forcing them to come along on the off chance that he was creepy and I needed protection. When I got down there, he was still on his way down, I sat in a chair nervously. Preparing myself for the worst, but hoping for the best. When he walked into the gate, my heart skipped a beat. I felt like I knew him, but couldn't figure out where I knew him from. I couldn't help but smile. He walked right up to me. "Are you Shay?" I nodded, I couldn't get any words to come out "So... do we hug?" I managed to spit out. I was so embarrassed.. Had I really just asked that? STUPID! Luckily he laughed and hugged me. I felt a spark. It startled me a little. He took his shirt off to get into the hot tub I couldn't help but stare.. :P he got in and I put my feet in, I had no desire to get into the nasty college hot tub water, who knows what had gone on in there. We began talking and I quickly became very comfortable around him. There was another guy there who kept trying to talk to me as well. Not wanting to be rude to him, I responded a little, but it was very apparent that he was drunk, and I was uncomfortable. Carson must have noticed my discomfort, and put his hand on my leg, asserting his dominance to the drunk sir who would not leave me alone. Instantly he backed off, and I smiled gratefully. When he moved his hand off my leg,my heart sank a litte. I felt like I just wanted to have some sort of contact with him, so, I grabbed his hand. A bold move, but I can't even discribe how badly I wanted it. He smiled, obviously being very receptive of my bold move. My friend who's house I had been at earlier in the story (you know, when I was being a hobo) Showed up. Immediately she acknowledged his presence and hugged him "CARSON!" she exclaimed! I turned to him "You know Imari?" He looked just as confused as I was "Yeah.. she lives right down the hall from me.." Suddenly I had a flashback to that night, realizing that this was the boy I had met but never got a name from... I looked at him as he made the same connection. Excitement came over his face "You're that girl!" he exclaimed. "I've been beating myself up for not getting your number!" I just laughed. Later that night, when the hot tub closed, I invited him over to my place to watch a movie, and get to know each other better, he agreed but went home to change. I walked back to my place with a huge grin on my face. I quickly cleaned up the house, fixed my makeup and changed. When he got there, I felt like I was hanging ou with a friend I've had my entire life. We talked about everything. I've never felt so safe and comfortable in my life. Before the night ended... we looked each other in the eye... and kissed. It just felt... right. We ended up falling asleep together. The next morning, I rolled over and looked at him, he looked back and me and softly whispered to me "You're so beautiful..." My heart melted. And from that moment on... I. WAS. DONE FOR. Hook line and sinker, Head over Heels, In love. 2 days later he started referring to me as his girlfriend, and I absolutely LOVED it. Over the next 6 months, we became the best of friends, and the love we had grew deeper and stronger. Which leads us to today. 8 months later. We are still stronger than ever. In fact we are extremely close to getting married. We rented a little condominium down the street from where I work, and things have been going extremely well. I love Carson, with my whole heart. He's my very best friend, and I've never had a relationship where we have never had a fight, never get sick of each other, and have ever been this close, like this relationship. I couldn't be happier. here I am. 20 years old, and madly, hoplessly, deeply in love with my very best friend. Life couldn't be any better. (: