Dream Catcher.

Dream Catcher: Noun : a circular framed net with a hole in the center that is used by some American Indian peoples to help block bad dreams and catch good ones I have always had a strange fascination with dream catchers.. the strange intricate designs, the general native american "voodoo" behind them, the symbolism, the legends, and for me personally, the mystery that comes from looking at one. I know what your thinking What is Shay getting at with this post..? Well.. as I am talking more about a figurative dream catcher, this post will contain a lot of analogies, and metaphors.. I know, I know, How terribly cliche. But I'd have a hard time explaining myself in any other way, as I have been trying to come up with a way to start this post for over 2 months.. I want you to think with me for a minute.. what if people could have the same effects as dream catchers... I mean, yeah they can't be a circular framed net with a hole in the center... but what if they had the effect to block out bad dreams or actions, and catch good ones... ? I think I found my dream catcher.. I had been struggling with drugs and alcohol for a long time. It started off as a social thing, a couple beers, maybe a few shots, and a hit here and there at a friend's party. It seemed harmless at first.. I was "giving it the old college try".. But after a few months.. I noticed some unusual behavior in myself...I stopped going to class, and would just do my homework at home.. I had completely given up on trying to find a job, and I found myself drinking in my room, by myself, before 3 PM... I've always had nightmares, but they were getting worse... Instead of them just happening and me being able to wake up and shake them off and go about my day... they stuck with me.. and made me feel numb.. My solution to this was to take more than I was prescribed in adderall. One night It got so bad that I was laying on my floor, my heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest. and I began to plead with god to make it stop. "Please... Help me and I will try my best to change... I just need your help to get me through this and to keep me away from it all... " I suddenly felt myself blacking out. When I woke up I was in bed, contacts out and put away, teeth brushed, in my pjs.. I had no Idea how I had gotten to that point. But I knew that I needed to change. That next night instead of going to a party after a long frustrating day, I decided to eat my feelings away with some In-n-Out Burger. I went over to my friend's house to meet up with her, but she hadn't gotten there yet, she told me to wait in the hall till she got there, So, there I stood, 2 Double Doubles, a Neopolitan Shake and Animal style fries in hand. I looked horrible. I was wearing sweats, My makeup was gone, and my hair was a mess. So, Naturally God picked that time to send a gorgeous boy up the stairs. "Are you locked out?" He asked his voice full of concern. I tried to speak but my mouth was stuffed full of food. I swallowed it quickly and replied in a half-choking voice "No, I'm waiting for Imari to get back." he sat and talked to me for a few minutes about how crazy her roommate Chelsey was.. and then she walked up the stairs. So he ran off. I was crushed. Such an idiot for not asking for his name... or number... facebook.. something. I went inside and told Imari about him. She had no idea who he would have been. I went home that night and all I could think about was that kind smile, those sweet eyes, and that voice. It haunted me for weeks. I started to let it go and focused my attention on finding new friends online that were in the area. A few boys asked me on dates. But none of them seemed promising enough to risk meeting them in real life. But one. He seemed so familiar. So, I invited him to the hot tub, because he lived in the same complex as me. When he walked through the gate, my heart skipped a beat. He was gorgeous and so out of my league. "Crap, crap, crap.. I wore the wrong swimsuit, I should have done a better job on my hair.. and my make up... crap. " He smiled and greeted me with a hug. I swear I felt a spark immediately when we touched. All of my troubles melted away. Things went really well that night, we watched a movie, and talked about our interests, our music taste, just.. everything, and suddenly, everything changed. I felt.. happy. and comfortable, I could be myself. the only thing I can think to describe how it felt is some silly cliche of a girl and a boy driving down the highway on a sunny day top down, rock music playing and her hair dancing in the wind, laughing, smiling without a care.. ok.. so maybe that's not how it happened, but that's how it felt. We talked until we fell asleep. When we woke up I was still in his arms. "You look so beautiful.." He actually meant it when he said it... "I've gotta run home and shower so I can be worthy of your presence." could this really be happening? He kissed my forehead and left. He texted me a few mins later and told me that he was already missing me. Could I have finally found someone who was going to treat me with the respect I deserved? Every moment I spend with him I cherish. It's been 3 amazing months. And I can't wait to see what else is in store for us.